I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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