Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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