I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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