I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
