I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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