Porn is love you can see.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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