Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
