im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
