I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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