I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
organizing the empties. That sober.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
