Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
