My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
