DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Randomize
