it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I am full of burrito and curiosity
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
