When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
