anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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