My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
