did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
