Dual....:-)
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
