I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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