How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize