As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
