There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
