i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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