I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
