where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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