you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
