I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
