This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
