So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
