Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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