Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
