Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
