at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
