I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
