I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize