too bad you live with your parents still
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
