Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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