you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
