Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
