I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
