oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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