I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
