Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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