hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
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