omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
