So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
