Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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