i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
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