i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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