She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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