Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
