He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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