Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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