I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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