Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
