Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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