Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
