dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize