dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
