just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
